The Central Florida Jewish Film Festival began tonight and will continue through Monday at the Enzian Theater in Maitland, Florida. Read my article.

Although I strongly encourage you to attend, there are, admittedly, a few reasons for not attending. Let me address each one individually:

Reason #1: You don’t like movies.
Rebuttal: This festival might help you recover from this disturbing condition.

Reason #2: You’d rather spend your time outside in the nice weather.
Rebuttal: OK, that’s a pretty good one. However, the weather will become even nicer in a few weeks. Oh, and the Orlando forecast calls for rain on Sunday.

Reason #3: You don’t like food.
Rebuttal: Eat, eat! You’re skin and bones!

Reason #4: You’re anti-Semitic.
Rebuttal: Don’t attend. No one wants you there — or anywhere.

Reason #5: You don’t enjoy experiencing Jewish culture.
Rebuttal: See #4.

Reason #6: You have agoraphobia.
Rebuttal: I’m stumped. Good luck with that.

Reason #7: You might see me there.
Rebuttal: I’m really not as mean as people say, unless you’re an anti-Semite.

So, in conclusion, unless you’re an agoraphobe or an anti-Semite, get your tukhus out to the Enzian to see some good films and eat some latkes and knishes.