Halloween: The Ranking of Michael Myers

Exclusive to MeierMovies, October 27, 2020

“Get a life, will you, people? … You’ve turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a colossal waste of time!”

That’s how William Shatner (whose face inspired the mask worn by Michael Myers) described hardcore Trekkies’ devotion to his work, jokingly, on Saturday Night Live in 1986. But it might just as well apply to fans of the Halloween movies. Though creator and original director John Carpenter, whom I interviewed back in 2014, is much too nice a guy to say so, our obsession with Michael Myers – not to mention the endless parade of brainless sequels – borders on the ridiculous.

Still, here I am, writing about the franchise, 42 years after the first film debuted. So I guess I’m just as much to blame as the producers, writers, directors and fans who keep Michael alive through all the shootings, burnings, explosions and decapitations. Call it a guilty pleasure. (And, hey, it’s better than the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street films.)

It’s certainly a pleasure for Carpenter, who told me that meeting his fans, particularly at horror conventions, was one of his greatest thrills.

“Love it, love it,” he said. “They’re really nice. … It’s fun, a lot of fun. The most fun is, of course, the questions you get from the audience [at the discussion panels] because you never know what you’re going to get.”

One of the biggest debates at those aforementioned conventions is which Halloween films are the best, and the worst. It’s a debate Carpenter was reluctant to weigh in on when I met him six years ago, though, presumably, he would put his own directorial creation (the 1978 original) ahead of all the sequels and remakes. Still, it consumes the film’s fans. So without further ado, here is my ranking, best to worst, followed by a chronological list of all the films. And because the Halloween franchise isn’t linear – remakes, reboots, redundancies and reimaginings abound – I include a handy little flow chart designed by Will Locatelli and courtesy of Wikimedia Commons to explain the madness. (Oh, and if you truly love the franchise, please ignore my abysmal star ratings, which are on a 0-5 scale.)

 

Ranking by quality

1. Halloween (3 ¼ stars), 1978, directed by John Carpenter
2. Halloween II (2 ¼ stars), 1981, directed by Rick Rosenthal
3. Halloween (1 ½ stars), 2018, directed by David Gordon Green
4. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1 ¼ stars), 1988, directed by Dwight H. Little
5. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1 ¼ stars), 1998, directed by Steve Miner
6. Halloween (1 star), 2007, directed by Rob Zombie
7. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1 star), 1982, directed by Tommy Lee Wallace
8. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1 star), 1989, directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard
9. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1 star), 1995, directed by Joe Chappelle
10. Halloween II (¾ star), 2009, directed by Rob Zombie
11. Halloween: Resurrection (¾ star), 2002, directed by Rick Rosenthal

 

Chronological ranking

1. Halloween (3 ¼ stars), 1978, directed by John Carpenter
2. Halloween II (2 ¼ stars), 1981, directed by Rick Rosenthal
3. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1 star), 1982, directed by Tommy Lee Wallace
4. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1 ¼ stars), 1988, directed by Dwight H. Little
5. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1 star), 1989, directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard
6. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1 star), 1995, directed by Joe Chappelle
7. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1 ¼ stars), 1998, directed by Steve Miner
8. Halloween: Resurrection (¾ star), 2002, directed by Rick Rosenthal
9. Halloween (1 star), 2007, directed by Rob Zombie
10. Halloween II (¾ star), 2009, directed by Rob Zombie
11. Halloween (1 ½ stars), 2018, directed by David Gordon Green

 

For more on the franchise, visit Wikipedia. Oh, and no article on slasher films would be complete without an award for sexiest scream queen. Congratulations, Kathleen Kinmont, from Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. (Acting nods, predictably, go to original stars Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence, with a shout-out for the best “up and coming” performance to Paul Rudd, in Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.)

© 2020 MeierMovies, LLC; flow chart copyright Will Locatelli / Wikimedia Commons